Monday, September 17, 2012

LLAMAS HAVE FREAKY TEETH

Guess what happened on the way to the Donkey Refuge on Saturday? You'll never guess so I'll tell you.
Laura and I carpool to the Refuge every Saturday. We chat (okay, I mostly chat and Laura listens) about our week and before you know it, we are at our beautiful destination.
Imagine our surprise when we rounded a curve just before the Refuge and were greeted by a llama on the loose. He was on one side of the fence, his mates were on the other side, and he was trotting back and forth across the road - a disaster waiting to happen.
Ta-da-da-da! Laura and Chris to the rescue. Plan A - inform owners and off to the Refuge we go. The owners were not home but we were greeted by the two guard?? dogs who treated me to licks and sqwiggles (a dog ritual where their tail wags so hard in anticipation of scritches that it makes their whole body wiggle).
Time to formulate plan B. Walk up to the llama, stick out hand, let llama lick hand, grab llama by the I don't know what, lead cooperative llama to gate and let llama back in. Laura was the gate monitor and I was the llama whisperer.
Gate located? Check. Laura in place? Check. Chris ready to wrangle? Check. Llama ready to rejoin the herd in an orderly manner? Nope.
And for two very really good reasons. Llama was frightened of me, and, Holey Hanna, that llama, when I got up close, was freakishly weird looking.
It was jet black with two white caterpillar looking patches over its eyes that were exactly the size and shape of its real eyes. I tried to focus on its real eyes which were actually quite pretty, stuck out my hand in a "We Come in Peace" kind of way and it moved its head to within six inches of me. Holy h.... you should have seen its teeth. So now I am staring down a frightened black creature with glowing white eyes and lethal, grass-eating teeth that could snap off my arm with one nip.
So I grabbed a stick to make my reach longer, herded White Eyes to the gate, Laura opened it and in to the pasture it went. End of story. I know, you thought we would have chased it up and down the road for ages, risking life and limb, but don't forget, this was not my first rodeo. After all, this Spring I was Chris, Pig Wrangler.
As Laura and I jumped back into the truck, two thoughts crossed our minds. Did that llama actually belong to this llama farm? Llama ranch?? And was that llama in heat and we stuck it in with a herd of llama studs? We are just happy that White Eyes would live another day to share the story of its adventure and how it freaked me out with its white eyebrows.

We reached the Refuge with me already pumped after Laura's and my little adventure and even poop patrol didn't dampen my spirits. Then the unimaginable happened.

I GOT TO RIDE ON OLLIE!!! And yes, Rob, the capital letters mean I am YELLING. With absolute joy in my heart. There are good days and then there are great days. This was even better than a great day. We walked only about 30 feet, and although I had reins, Rob controlled Ollie with a lead rope but it didn't matter cuz I GOT TO RIDE ON OLLIE!

Great friends, great adventures, donkeys, riding a donkey, it just keeps getting better! And my heart is happy!

2 comments:

  1. If anyone deserves a happy heart its YOU Chris. Bless you.
    Penny

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  2. Thank you Penny. I think we all deserve happy hearts.
    Chris

    ReplyDelete