LILLIE

Yesterday I somehow found time to spend with my beloved donkeys. Laura and I try to get to the Refuge an hour before opening on our work days so we can visit with the donkeys - Laura with her sweet Farrah and me with all of them - before the visitors begin to arrive. Most times visitors arrive right behind us, anxious to experience the mix of sadness and joy that our donkeys and their stories invoke.
With so many new donkeys arriving in the past few months it is difficult to keep their histories straight. Jenny witnessed her pasture partner dying at the claws and teeth of a cougar or bear. Marguerite and Hilda traveled for a week from Alaska to reach us. Annie and Socrates (SocAnnie as their former "mommy" calls them) came to us, both overweight and Socrates with Cushing's Disease. Then there is Rosie, and Jorge, and George and Happy who arrived a few months ago.
Blood tests and fecal tests, vet checks and expensive medicines help us deal with the physical challenges of our new charges. But what about their mental health - how does one determine if there are more serious issues - fear, mistrust, anger, sadness - that need our attention.
Rob and Shirley - that's how. They seem to be able to see into the donkeys' hearts and souls. And we witness the donkeys' trust in them grow day by day. Today I was in with Socrates and saw how he immediately headed to the gate when he heard Rob's voice. Already there is a bond between them. This mental connection is a critical step towards Socrates physical healing. It truly is an honor to witness such amazing progress after such a very few days.
This happens between Rob and Shirley and every one of our donkeys. Sadly, the bond sometimes takes years to establish due to the speed at which that the donkeys can forgive humans for the terrible abuses inflicted upon them. For others the transition occurs in a very short time. It just depends on the degree and nature of the abuse that each donkey has experienced.
Please know that not every donkey arrives in this condition, but it happens more often than not.
All of which brings me to sweet, sweet Lillie. Lillie is part of our mammoth herd. The six members of the herd arrived in August 2010 with all sorts of physical conditions, some of which are still an issue.  The familial relationships in the herd are interesting. Lillie, Ruby and Sassafras (Sassy) are full sisters. Kiki is Ruby's son. Ollie and Stormy (who is actually a large standard), though not related to the others are best of friends.
Mammoths are just as their name implies. They are large and absolutely beautiful. For their size they are incredibly gentle - to each other and to us. Our Gentle Giants. I love being in the paddock with them as they crowd around to get pats and ear rubs and hugs. I think it would be easy to feel somewhat intimidated by their size but once you figure out how to move them and move among them it is an amazing way to experience that Donkey Magic that I always talk about.
Again, back to Lillie. On Wednesday I watched Rob clean out an absess in her front left hoof. She stood patiently as Rob dug up into her hoof first to locate the absess and then to drain it. Her trust in him and his love for her was so apparent. I felt honoured to be a witness to it all. Lillie's love for Rob was greater than the pain we both knew he was causing her as he worked to make her well.
On Friday I took my nieces to the Refuge to meet the donkeys and made sure to visit Lillie in her temporary hospital room, the Maria Barn. She was lying down and seeing her "down" hurt my heart a little bit as I am used to seeing her standing. I went and scratched her ears and she got up for a visit.
Yesterday I again made a point of checking on her and once again, she was down. I realized how I count on these wonderful creatures to make ME feel better if I am having a sad day or am distracted for some reason. ESPECIALLY LILLIE.

She is our therapy donkey - the one we ask to spend alone time with our terminally ill visitors. The one that always comes to the fence to greet visitors, no matter what.
And I felt fear in my heart, for myself, and for her. Yes, I know it is only an abcess in her foot but I think the vision of her "down" reminded me of hers, and my own mortality.
If Lillie, our healing donkey can "go down" what does that say for the rest of us? The vet was out to see her yesterday and she will be fine.
Me? - I will never miss another opportunity to see a donkey, pat a donkey, or hug a donkey. Life is too precious. All the busy-ness that I engage in when I first arrive at the Refuge can wait.
I need a donkey hug - make that many donkey hugs - before the day's work begins. And I make that promise to myself and to the donkeys at this very moment.